Nothings Straight Forward
by LoveLiveLaugh96
Summary: The medical world is so complicated, complex and confusing, drag your personal life into the combination and your life just becomes that whole lot harder. Connie X Jacob (OC- He should really be on the list by now!) Rated M for a reason..
1. Chapter 1

**First things first, All charcters yada yada are owned by the BBC, i claim nothing. Second thing microsoft seem to refuse me access to auto correct for windows 10.. so any mistakes are very genuine as all chapters will be checked before being published! Ok so i know there are not many stories about this pairing yet (or that Jacob isn't even in the characters list yet) but hopefully some of you will read and even more hopefully, enjoy. Please leave thoughts my darlings.**

Connie held her head in her hands, in the silence of her office with the slight muffle of all the action outside she had time to gather her thoughts, unfortunately they where not very good ones.  
Why had she been so stupid. Never bring your personal life into work, and vise versa. But sadly she had, what an idiot she had been. Really she should of learnt her lesson after everything that happened with Grace, but clearly not.

It was just all a blur, half of it had happened in the spur of the moment, but now it would have a knock on effect to her entire work life. Of course she was not going to tell anyone this, she was of course the head of the department and in many people's eyes, the boss. Although she would come across in charge, the inner termoil of her thoughts would drive her round the bend. This was going to be a problem.

Connie was so lost in herself that she never even heard the knock on the door..but when someone comes into her office without being asked its almost always an emergancy.

''Sorry Connie i did knock, we have a RTC but they need a doctor on site, 2 seriously injured, firecrew say its a mother and child. Which doctor should we send?'' Charlie sounded calm when explaining the ordeal but the seriousness of the situation held in the air.  
''Is Lily about?''  
''No her shift ended about half an hour ago. Jacob is around?'' Connie looked up  
''No we can't send him, he is still recovering and only on minors''  
''Im sure he could cope, he isn't exactly in remission or anything'' Charlie said slightly confused.  
''No Charlie, send Ethan out''  
''Ok'' Charlie closed the door on his way out.  
It was impossible to collect your thoughts in this place, there was just to much going on. Grabbing her coat she made her way outside.

Taking a deep breath of that cold crisp morning air was a godsend, taking a few deep breaths allowed her to forget about everything for just a few glorious seconds. The cold had a habbit of doing that to you. She wrapped her coat around herself tighter, the freezing breeze was protecting the fresh snow from the winters sun. The snow was only a light covering, which for the ED was bad. Drivers never take the weather seriously untill its bad enough to stop them all together. There will be many car accidents this season. Not a lovely run up to christmas.

The cold air snapped Connie out of her thoughts, it really was freezing. Hugging her coat she turned to make her way back into the ED, walking straight into Jacob.  
Connie jumped back, startled, her heels slipped on the melting ice and she lost her balance, quick as anything Jacob grabbed her and held her still she regained herself.  
''Be careful, its an ice rink out here, the salt isn't doing much good this morning'' He still had hold of her.  
''Yes, well..thankyou, i will get on to maintaince about it'' She tried to move away from his grip but he kept hold of her.  
''What you thinking about?'' He said looking her directly in the eye, Connie couldn't help but look straight back at him.  
''Take a guess'' She said looking down at his hands, still tightly grasped on her waist, her eyes came back up to meet his, reluctantly she pulled away, instantly feeling the loss of his hands. She made her way back into the corridors of the ED. Jacob followed close behind.

''So you thinking the same as what im thinking?'' Jacob came right up behind her. Connie rolled her eyes, her fustration replacing her orginal thoughts  
''No Jacob'' She said walking into her office. Jacob continued to follow her trail, closing the door behind him.  
''What do you think your doing?'' Connie spun round.  
''I want to clear a few things up'' Jacob stood perfectly calm in the middle of her office, the blinds concealing any outsiders from glancing in. Connie moved to sit behind her desk, trying to put her mind back into her paperwork.  
''There is nothing to discuss Jacob, let alone clear up'' She didn't make eye contact with him.  
''Now i think there is'' he argued ''you see i think what happened betwe-''  
''No'' She interrupted him ''You do not mention that in our working enviroment'' She got up and moved round from her desk '' What happened was nothing more than a mista-''  
Jacob stepped closer to her, stopping her sentace as he took hold of her hand and moved the other to her waist, she looked up into his eyes and down to his lips, she had lost all sence of what she was saying, her mind once whirling was now blank. Jacob moved down and kissed her, Connie didn't argue, she couldn't argue, her hands moved to his neck as he deepened the kiss and pulled her closer still, holding her in place. The kiss deepened between them and Jacob pushed her backwards so Connie was leaning against the desk, he still held her in place as the kiss broke.  
''Now'' He said smiling down at the clearly flustered clinical lead. ''What where you saying?''  
Connie looked up at him, she had no words. The whole world had slowed down for just that one moment. She opened her mouth to speak when the door knocked. Jacob stepped away from Connie who moved round to sit behind her desk.

''Come in'' She said, clearing her voice. Jacob smiled at her, only to recieve something of a death stare.  
Lofty entered the office tenatively but quickly, noticing Jacob.  
''Sorry to interrupt but Ethan asked me to come and get you, we need you in Resus regarding the mother from the RTC''  
''Right yes'' she answered following quickly. Almost thankful of the distraction. Jacob followed close behind.

The day dragged on like anything, The mother had been left with a severe bleed on the brain, leaving no brain activity. There was nothing the doctors could do. But breaking the news to a husband and father was by far the hardest bit. Confirming a death to any relative is never easy. The only condolance in the whole thing was the father's daughter would make a full if not long recovery.  
The day had left no space for thinking, Connie's paperwork still sat on her desk. With more to add now after everything from today. But it was going to wait till tomorrow.  
Connie grabbed the most urgent of files, her coat and her bag and locked her office up. Sometimes getting away from the hospital was all it took.  
The cold air was even colder this evening. Connie was careful on the walk to her car, there would be nobody to catch her if she fell this time, only people to laugh and take pictures. Connie had not seen Jacob since the death of the mother, she assumed he was keeping busy in the cubicals, but there she didn't dwell on it.

Unlocking her car she got in and out of the cold breeze. It had been a long day. But the main thing that played on her mind was the one problem that needed to be sorted the quickest.

Connie pulled up into her driveway. She was lucky to live so close to her workplace but the journey took half an hour longer thanks to the freezing roads and ice.  
As quickly as possible Connie ran up the steps to her house and unlocked the door, keen to get into the warm and out of the cold. Once indoors she kicked off her heels and headed into her lounge, sitting down with a glass of wine and some paperwork Connie managed to concerntrate on her work. Well that was until the doorbell rang.  
Connie opened the door, almost regretting doing it as soon as she did. Jacob stood at her doorstep in his running gear.  
''Fancy a run?'' He said with a smile.  
''You can jog on'' Connie replied, but couldn't help but smile, how is it he can run on the icey pavements and she couldn't walk in heels on salted concrete? Jacob quickly snapped her out of her thoughts.  
''You going to let me in?''  
''How do you even know where i live?''  
''I noticed your car parked in the drive, i run by here alot, it didn't take me long to put the puzzle together''  
Connie didn't know what to say, part of her wanted to invite him in and talk through everything that had happened. And the other part said shut the door and leave things how they are. Surely talking about it would make it official?  
She could see Jacob was cooling off now he had stopped running. She stepped aside and invited him in. Worst. Decision. Ever.

Jacob found his way to her lounge and sat down. Making himself at home.  
''Comfy?'' She said walking in. Connie resumed her seat beside her paperwork on the other side of the room. ''Why are you here?''  
''I just thought i would pop in, say hi, maybe discuss something''  
Connie put her head in her hands for the second time today. It wasn't like she didn't know what was coming, but that didn't make it any easier hearing it.  
''Jacob, what happened, happened. We cannot pretend it didn't but we can move on from it.'' Connie could see the confusion over Jacob's face.  
''Well what we dont want to move on from it? Be honest here Connie, your not exactly pushing me away'' She couldn't deny that.  
''Its not professional Jacob, we have to work together, and if our collegues found out we would never hear the end of it''  
''Thats not true and you know it''  
She should of known this was not going to be easy. In a way Connie was glad they where doing this at hers. At least there would be no gossiping or rumours. Hopefully.  
Jacob continued  
''Connie what are you protecting yourself from? Work? Or is it personal?''  
''Both Jacob. I really don't want to go into great detail''  
Jacob moved over to where Connie was sitting. Connie shifted away slightly.  
''Why deprive yourself of something you want?, why worry about what other people will think? I don't worry about things like that'' Connie turned to face Jacob  
''Jacob i am your boss! As well as Clinical Lead. I cannot just chance what people may think of me. My reputation in this profession is absolutely paramount. Tell me what part of this is right?''  
''Not everything has to be right though, surely?'' Connie looked directly at Jacob ready to respond, but lost her answer.  
What could she say? Everything is always right. Maybe it was the wine that was screaming at her to just go for it. But whatever was causing it was kicking real life in the backside.  
''I don't know'' She said turning her head away, Jacob grabbed her head with one hand and turned it back towards him.  
''Then stop fighting it'' And in that moment, she did, Connie moved her head closer and placed a tentative kiss to Jacobs lips. She went to pull away but he pulled her back in. The kiss was passionate. Jacob pulled Connie until she was pretty much on his lap. Jacob moved off of her mouth and onto her neck kissing and biting one certain area, causing sighs of pleasure to escape Connie's mouth, Jacob pushed Connie down gently so she was lying on her back on the sofa, Jacob hovered over her before kissing her again, Connie wrapped her arms around Jacob, pulling him closer to her, but Jacob refused to put all his weight on her. As he kissed her Jacob slowly unbuttoned her blouse exposing her bra, He left a trail of kisses down her neck moving closer and closer to her chest, Connie's breathing became heavier, her sighs turning into moans as he began kissing and sucking on her clevage. Jacob looked up at her and stopped, causing Connie to open her eyes and look at him.  
''Do you want me to stop?'' He said, Connie could see the smile hidden on his face.  
''Shut up'' She answered pulling him back down to her mouth.

Connie had no doubt in her mind that she may regret the whole thing in the morning, but her brain was way beyond the point of thinking straight for tonight.

 **Ok so this chapter has pretty much written itself. Thank god! Please let me know what you think. Going to try and keep all the medical terms and situations out of this story, only because i don't have a clue about that sort of stuff and wouldn't want to offend any actual professionals on here! I have a good idea of the plot but every good story needs some twists so leave a message or review if you have any good ideas, any ideas im game. Much Love.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Firstly, thankyou to everyone who read my first chapter, Because this pairing isn't fully established to the public its difficult to find let alone connect with, so to all of you that read and hopefully enjoyed, thankyou. Of course all credit goes to the BBC on creating these wonderful characters. Once again please leave a little review or follow my story. Just to show me you care. Enjoy my lovelys.**

Connie's eyes flickered open, squinting at the winter's sunshine coming through her bedroom window. Those few glorious moments where everything is still fuzzy, its just bliss. Untill it hits you. Connie smacked her hand's over her eye's, almost afraid to look. But she had to. Slowly she turned her head, and sure enough lying beside her was Jacob, sleeping..SILENTLY.. well, at least he doesn't snore.. the thought pondered in Connie's mind for a moment. She shook it off. Was there any point in looking under the bed covers? She had less than 1 glass of wine last night so the whole, i was drunk and didn't know what i was doing excuse was well out the window!. Yes of course she would be naked under there, she had sex with him for crying out loud, she remembered every bit of it. Well, it wasn't a bad experience, infact Connie couldn't remember the last time sex had been so good.  
She smiled as all the little details came into her mind, yes it was lovely, she enjoyed it. But that worrying thought in the back of her mind was still tapping on her nerves, only bad will come of this. But it didn't with Zoe and Max, apart from the whole, married and basically divorced thing they had going on, no, not the best example after all.  
Connie's mind was in turmoil, and for once it was not about doctors, medical problems, or paperwork. It was infact about herself, her private life, it was almost refreshing to pay this much attention to herself. It was a shame that it was still evoling around work as a whole. 

Connie turned her head and looked at Jacob. She lay facing him, apart from the worry about what to do next she had no regrets about what had happened so far. Jacob was straight forward in many ways. He saw no point in hiding from the world and what the people in it thought of him. He was a friendly man who took fantastic care of his patients and worked great wonders in others lives. But was he going to do the same to her?  
Jacob himself began to stir and opened his eyes, turning onto his back he stretched out sighed deeply, before looking over to Connie who was still watching him.

''Morning boss'' he said, Connie closed her eye's immediatly.  
''Do not call me that in this situation'' Despite her eye's being shut Connie could feel Jacob shuffle closer to her.  
''Well i suppose after last night, im the boss, seeing as you had no intentions of taking charge, yeah, i am the boss'' Connie's eyes snapped open. But she couldn't be serious with him in this situation. She couldn't argue back, there was no real argument in the first place.  
She smiled at him as he moved in and kissed her softly, turning her onto her back and hovering on top of her. He brought his head down lower and started kissing and sucking the same spot on her neck as last night. Connie closed her eyes and brought her hands up to his neck, bringing his head back up for a kiss, Jacob made the kiss deep to which she only responsed to all the more. It quickly became a passionate embrace and Jacob moved back to the same spot on her neck before trailing his kisses down to her bare chest. the covers lifted sending a cold breeze down though the gap, putting Connie's skin on edge, Jacob moved his hand over one breast, slowly and softly teasing one nipple, before taking the other one into his mouth. Connie closed her eyes, letting a deep sigh and slight moan of pleasure escape from her mouth. All her senses where focused on him. Why she opened her eyes she had no idea but they focused on her clock.  
Connie closed her eyes as a wave of dissapointment quickly followed by stress flooded her body, she made a move to quickly sit up.  
''Jacob, look at the time, i have to get going'' Jacob pinned her down.  
''I am the boss remember?''  
''Not for work your not'' Connie escaped his pin down and quickly jumped out of bed, grabbing her robe and covering herself. Jacob laid in bed watching her rush round gathering clothes and moving into the ensuite bathroom. He had to admit, her house was lovely, it was big and almost grand. But then being a Clinical Lead must have its advantages.

Jacob heard the shower turn on and moved to the door trying to open it.  
''As if you have locked me out'' He said from the outside,  
''I don't have time for anymore distractions, besides, you dont need to see me in the shower!''  
''Why? its not like i haven't seen you naked before'' He chuckled at the lack of answer and moved off to get dressed.  
20 minuites later and Connie was staring at her reflection, Despite the lack of sleep she didn't look tired, or drained this morning, even with the lack of makeup. She looked replenished, and happy. Could she really throw away something that made her feel so good? So special, just to maintain her reputation at work.  
She started putting her lipstick on, doctors really don't get the credit they deserve these days.

Jacob came back upstairs 35 minuites later, to find Connie struggling to do her zip up on the back of her dress. The dress was tight, it was showing off all her curves in the right places, he stood at the door, enjoying the view.  
''Don't just stand there and watch''Connie turned round, her hands still behind her back. ''Help me for crying out loud''  
''Ok Ok'' Jacob walked over to her with his hands in the air, ''How do you do it on your own?''  
Connie looked in the mirror, truth is she had not worn this dress for ages, although it still fitted her perfectly she almost always got Grace to do it up for her. Since Grace had left she had never really bothered to acknowledge it sitting in her wardbrobe. She should, it brought out her best side.  
''I manage some way or another, but dont wear back zip ups normally''  
''Right'' Jacob moved towards the staircase. Connie looked in the mirror and quickly called to him. Jacob walked in the room, smiling at Connie as he saw what she was looking at.  
''How am i going to cover this up?'' She said looking at the sizeable lovebite on her neck.  
''Why bother?''  
''Jacob, you know what i said last night still stands. My repuation does not need rumours or gossip surrounding it. Especially at the moment'' She moved over to grab a scarf, comfortably covering up the love bite which would also need a spot of concealer over it later today.  
''You still worrying about what other people are going to think?'' Jacob followed her downstairs.  
''Wait a minuite'' Connie turned round.  
''What do you mean what other people think, your not telling anyone about this, not a soul, do you understand?'' Aniexty started to build in Connie's stomach, did Jacob really want to go and tell everyone? And why?  
''No Connie but you can't deny there isn't something between us right? Surely after last night you have come to terms with that?''  
''Yes..no.. maybe, im not sure, i can't justify it, there is just to much to think about, but for now you are not to mention or act any differently around me or anyone else ok?'' Connie busied herself with finding her things.  
''Your making this way to hard for yourself, why don't you let yourself come first, just once''  
Connie grabbed her car keys from the cabiet, clasping them and closing her eyes. Jacob was right, why was work always more important. Because work was the only reliable thing in her life at the moment. Now something else is coming into her life it seems almost impossible to cope with the two.  
She heard Jacob sigh and turned to see him walking towards the door. He turned around just as he grabbed the handle.  
''When was the last time you made a decision that had nothing to do with work?'' Connie couldn't come up with an answer, because there wasn't one, once again Jacob was right.  
''I just need some time to think''  
Connie walked towards Jacob and gave him a soft kiss on the cheek. Jacob gave a small smile before heading out the door. Beginning to jog his way home. As he should of done last night.

Connie sat in her office, coffee in one hand, pen in another. She had spent most of the morning shut away in her office doing the much needed paperwork that had been waiting for days. It was a slight relief to have a reason to keep away. But also worrying her incase there was a band of gossip spreading the corridors of her much loved ED as she sat there. But she had faith in Jacob and something told her he would keep what happened between to himself.  
Lots of people have sex and then call it a mistake. The whole term One Night Stand came from all that. The kissing doesn't count. Kissing is more common these days. Although Connie had every right to tell Jacob it was all a mistake and there was no reason to carry on pretending, she found she couldn't ever just say it. This coming from the woman who was as hard a bricks at work. The truth is she didn't want to end it. She loved the fact someone was paying attention to her. Even when he looked at her from across the department it still made her feel special, wanted. She wasn't a teenager, this wasn't love but there is a connection. Connie couldn't end it with Jacob. She wanted and needed to think about herself for a bit. And above all. Enjoy it.

The few papers left on her desk, stayed unfinished as did her coffee as Connie went out of her office. Strolling down the corridors she made her way round the cubicals, noticing that all the patients where being treated or discharged, the waiting room was very quiet and resus was under full control by her staff. Connie felt proud of her hard work, she had turned this ED around and it was running like clockwork. Standing in the nurses bay she was going over files, checking the backlog and making sure nobody was left waiting. Although busy the place was not hectic, nurses working around each other, doctors checking results and researching. Friendly communications and the odd hello to the boss. However Jacob was nowhere to be found. Connie's curiosity got the better of her.  
''Rita'' Rita spun round hearing her name. ''Where is staff nurse masters''  
''There is a worker coming in, he fell off some scaffolding, and has little to no sensation in his legs and left arm. Jacob is waiting by the doors ready with Dylan, Dixie should be here any minuite''  
''Thankyou'' Connie spoke as she walked towards the doors, as on cue Jacob walking beside Dylan,Dixie and Ian, ready for the handover.  
''Ian, what have we got''  
Ian gave the handover to Dylan, as the patient was passed over to Resus.

Connie pulled off her gloves, heading out of Resus beside Jacob.  
''You been busy today?'' Jacob asked looking over to Connie.  
''Just sorting paperwork and trying to keep on top of it all, seems never ending in this place''  
''Well, thats because this place never does end, or stop for that matter''  
''Good observation'' Connie walked through the cubicals being sure to keep out of the way of the nurses. ''When is your lunch break?, i would like to go over a few things with you, if you have time?''  
''I finish in 20 minuites, providing there are no more emergancies''  
''Hope not'' Connie looked across the open room to see the now stable patient being moved to cubicals surrounded by thankful family members. Most rewarding part of the job. By a mile. ''Ok'' Connie said, snapping out of her thoughts,''Come to my office when your ready''

Connie found those 20 minuites the longest of her life, it seemed to go on forever. Untill when looking at the clock, she realised she had been waiting for nearly an hour. This was odd, if there was any type of emergancy Connie would of been paged, surely? She made her way outside her office, looking for Jacob, No sign, In fact, Jacob, Robyn, Lofty and Louise, seemed to of vanished.  
''Rita'' Connie called from the front desk of the nurses station.  
''Where are half of our nurses?''  
''They are on lunch, should be back soon, they have gone out for dinner, lucky them!'' Rita continued with her work.  
Connie was left feeling confused, and slightly annoyed. Even though the matter with Jacob was personal he should of been professional and turned up. She only wanted to talk to him. For a few moments Connie felt like an ice queen, avoided by everyone. Had she managed to push Jacob away before he had even come close? It wouldn't surpise her.  
Connie made her way back to her office, grabbing her purse she headed over to the coffee shop. This day needed plently of caffiene.

Jacob sat in the cafe with his friends, everyone at Holby was so cheerful and always happy to help, it made him feel so welcome, even when he had problems of his own. Of course he wouldn't mention his problems to everyone but still it made him feel as though he could, and they would stay safe.  
''You seem a bit lost today Jacob, whats up?'' Robyn was always one to notice if anything was wrong. Jacob had only just realised he had been staring into his coffee cup for the last 10 minuites.  
''There is always something to think about Robyn, the world throws new things at you everyday''  
''Yeah like a huge phone bill'' Lofty looked over to Robyn  
''Hey dont look at me!, Max is terrible for talking on the phone, way worse than me at times''  
''Oh come on!, when you open your mouth you have no control on what comes out of it. Gossip gossip gossip! You and Lousie could do your own TV Show'' Lofty had a teabag thrown at his face.  
''Shut up'' Louise took no shit from anyone.  
Jacob loved his friends, dearly. Not one day went by when they didn't make him smile. Hospitals have a habbit of draining all your positive thoughts out of you if your not careful, Jacob felt so at home here. He loved working around such loveable people, it was like a family. Everyone looks out for each other.  
Jacob looked back down in his coffee cup. He put the lid back over the top.  
''Sorry guys, got someone i have to see''  
''Come on Jacob, can't they wait?'' Lofty looked over to his friend, who was already gathering his things.  
''Catch you all later yeah?'' Jacob made for the door.

''He has been acting funny all morning, almost as if he is in a world of his own'' Robyn looked out the window, watching Jacob walking down the street.  
''Its Jacob, he most likely is'' Louise responded  
''I wouldn't worry about him, he is a big boy, he can look after himself'' Both the girls looked at Lofty.. ''What?'' They laughed. 

Jacob walked into the ED. He looked around the reception room before heading over to the nurse station. There was no sign of Connie. Jacob made his way over to her office. He knocked and waited but no response. He stood still for a moment thinking. Charlie popped up beside him.  
''She is not in, out on lunch i think'' Jacob looked up,  
''Oh right, thanks Charlie'' Jacob smiled to his friend and made his way over to the cafe in the hospital. He was doubtful that Connie was there, she almost always went out for lunch.  
No luck, Jacob scanned round the busy cafe and saw no sign on her. Oh well, can't say i didn't try, he thought to himself. Jacob made his way out into the Cafe garden. Hot drink still in hand he may as well make the most of his lunch break.  
Outside also sat Connie. The air was cold and crisp but refreshing. Connie's hands where wrapped around her drink, the bright winter sunshine was lovely to look at but Connie was the only one sitting out in it.  
Jacob walked over to her, she looked up at him and then back down at her hands.

''Mind if i join you?'' Jacob sat down before Connie could even respond.  
''Sorry im late, the guys took me out for lunch, couldn't exactly say no'' Connie looked up at him. ''Anything wrong?''  
''No it was nothing important''  
''Important to work or important to you?''  
''Neither'' Connie lied through her teeth. Not doing a very good job.  
''What did you want to tell me?'' Jacob pushed  
Connie looked up at him. Nothing about Jacob seemed rude or nosey, he always cared, nothing was to much trouble for her or for anyone else. It was refreshing. She smiled at him.  
''I wanted to say, that i thought about what you said and i realised your right''  
''I always am''  
''Don't get cockey about it'' Connie warned.  
''Anyway, if we are going to do this then we need to establish a few things''  
''Right..like what?'  
''For one, nobody else finds out, no friends, family, nothing''  
''Fine by me''  
''And there are a few other things you should know, but i can't explain them all now'' Connie looked up at the sky, the sun was hidden by dark snow clouds. The cold was beginning to bite..she made a move to stand.  
''We will talk about them another time''  
''Ok boss'' Jacob got up and followed, they went seperate ways in the corridors, going back to work.

Connie couldn't help feel a huge weight had been lifted just by clarifying what she really wanted to do and more so that Jacob had agreed. But that was the easy bit in perspective to what she had to face next.

 **Ok so this chapter may have been a little long winded to some of you but lets face it.. nobody has sex for one night and wakes up the next morning ready to start a relationship. And i want to try and stay true to the characters we watch on TV as the public have related to them so much already. Hopefully the detail has shone through and i have gotten across what i was trying to establish. Now we can let the plotting begin!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Have been so busy these last few weeks. Updating has been playing on my mind the whole time believe me! But alot has changed since i last updated...the series has revealed they do get together! Anyway, enjoy.**

Connie looked at the calendar. Where had the week gone?! It had been manic, the weather had taken a turn for the worst, it was just a few weeks left till christmas, there had been 5 RTC's come in, 2 in one day plus the normal winter viruses, one young girl was especially poorly and still in intensive care. Connie had barely had a chance to sit down, paperwork at home, pager going off all the time, no time to herself with staff needing papers signed, board meetings, and to top it all off she held in her hand a complaint. Great.  
She dropped the peice of paper on her desk, turning her head to her laptop. Opening her email's she saw 3 unread from her daughter Grace. Connie closed her eye's and sighed, this was why Grace was in New York, this was her life style, she couldn't avoid it but it wasn't her daughter's problem, how hard was it to read and reply to an email though? Pretty bloody hard in this place apprently.  
Connie opened one of the emails. The most recent one.

 _Hi Mum,_  
 _Hope your ok, haven't heard from you in a while, would be nice to. Its still really warm here for the time of year, the streets look lovely all lit up and decorated. Bet its cold in England, is there any snow?_  
 _Hope to hear from you soon.._

 _Grace. x_

Connie closed the email and got her phone out, she found Grace's number, it would be better to speak to her in person, time zone would mean it would be early afternoon in New York, hopefully she could get through to her.  
Just as Connie went to press the dial button her pager went off. She put her phone down to answer her pager, looking at the screen she sighed, making her way out of her office.

It was like walking into a totally different world, daunting to anyone who had never seen it before, but christmas was rarely quiet for the hospitals, any department, any location.  
Connie made her way over to resus, opening the doors she could see which patient needed her attention. Jacob stood beside the young girl, 18 years old, applying CPR, not the best sight. They saw her walking towards them. Let the work begin.

Connie pulled off her gloves, walking beside Jacob she left Resus and made her way into the nurses bay. Moving over to one of the free computors she began searching for the young girls details. Mainly to find her parents. No doubt they are worrying about her. Connie always had a mothering instinct with young girls or boys, she was at the end of the day a mother, however she made sure others didn't see it.  
''Don't worry, Robyn already called them'' Jacob spoke behind her.  
''Who said i was looking up contact details?'' Connie responded, looking over her shoulder to find Jacob rather close.  
''Please, anyone can see you care'' Connie turned and looked at him  
''It is our duty to care, if i didn't care then i wouldn't be a very good doctor''  
''You care more than you let on'' Jacob smiled as he saw a blush form on his bosses face. Connie turned her head away and moved back to the computor, Jacob turned and walked off.

It had been a few days since Connie and Jacob had last really spoken about the whole, romance situation. Maybe he was waiting for her to make the next move, he had kept his promise and not made one move on her at work, no flirting, nothing. Their relationship seemed more professional than it did before they got together. She was unsure as if her choice had been the right one, but there, she would only find out in time. But for now it looks as though she would have to make the next move. 

Jacob was unsure if it was due to the winter months but the hours in the day just flew by, it was busy from start to finish. The moral in the team seemed a little low, most likely due to the longer hours and harder work. Christmas was normally a time for cheer. Jacob was determinded to do something to cheer everyone up.  
Lofty walked in as the idea came into Jacobs head.  
''Hey, Lofty, do you guys ever do any christmas things here?''  
''Well, we normally have a drink and get together just before christmas but thats about it''  
''We should do a secret santa, and a big christmas party, doesn't feel very festive here yet''  
''Yeah, i think a fair few would be on board with that'' Lofty smiled at his friend ''I will get the word around''  
''Great'' Jacob clapped his hands and gathered his things. For him, another shift was over.  
Jacob made his way towards the exit, but something stopped him. He saw connie walking up the stairs towards some of the board rooms, folder in one hand, laptop in another, her day wasn't going to finish any time soon. Jacob did feel for her sometimes, she worked so hard.  
He caught up with her on the stairs, she turned and saw him but kept walking.

''Im already running late'' Connie continued her quick march up the stairs, but for Jacob it was still a normal walk.  
''You free later on?'' Connie turned round and looked at him  
''Don't look at me like that'' Jacob looked confused. Connie looked down at the floor for a minuite, almost lost for words, wait what?!  
''Umm.. Well i have this meeting then about an hour of paperwork so not untill at least 7''  
''Ok so will come to yours about 8.30?'' Jacob spoke in a quieter tone, aware that in here the walls literally had ears.  
Connie gave a small smile and nodded before continuing her route. Jacob made his way back down the stairs.  
Coming outside into the cold, fresh air was almost refreshing. He zipped up his coat and made his way over to his car. The weather was sharp, every hard surface was lethal, but the lights where up on the shops and houses, christmas was definately in the air.

Connie signed off the last peice of paper on her desk. Taking a deep sigh of relief she grabbed her bag, coat, shut down her computor, packed up her laptop and folders before turning off her office lights and leaving the now fairly quiet ED.  
Wrapping her coat round her tighter Connie carefully made her way over to her half frozen car. Great.  
It felt like forever getting home, traffic was slow and lined up, the roads where horrific and gritters where out preparing for another high risk of a freezing night. Despite all the annoyance of the cold weather Connie had seen many RTC's in her time take lives from loved ones with the bad roads. Being patient could well save your life. 

Connie pulled into her driveway. It was 7 45. Grabbing her things she unlocked her door and took hold of the freezing door handle before venturing into her warm house. Slipping off her shoes she took a deep breath. Making her way to the kitchen for much needed wine.  
Connie found herself watching the clock as she scrolled down her laptop, reviewing some folders and files, she found it hard not to work when at home. This would be her first christmas without her daughter. The more time she stopped and thought about it the more it upset her. As her thoughts started to drift her phone went off. Connie quickly fished it out of her bag, it was Grace.

''Grace'' Connie was delighted to finally be able to talk to her daughter.  
''Hi mum, you ok?''  
''Yes im ok darling, how are you?, have you broken up from school yet?''  
''Im ok thanks, yes we broke up yesterday, although it doesn't really feel like christmas here''  
''Why's that?''  
''Louise's mum is really poorly, dad has been so stressed out lately, we haven't even got the decorations up yet''  
''Im sure things will settle down darling, its a tough time of the year, but it will all fall into place soon enough''  
''Yeah'' Grace didn't sound to convinced  
''What do you want for christmas?'' Connie felt her daughter's upset, it hurt that she was unable to cheer her up.  
''Well i would love..'' Connie heard the doorbell ring, it was nearly 8 45, she had lost track of time. Grace seemed to of heard the doorbell on the phone as well.

''I will go, speak soon'' Connie's heart sank.  
''No darling, one minuite'' She put the phone to her chest as to muffle any noises and made her way through the hall to the front door, she opened it to see Jacob, moving aside so he could come through she signalled to her phone and made her way into the kitchen. Jacob respectively kept quiet and out of the way.  
''Sorry Grace, what where you saying?'' Connie sat down at her kitchen table.  
''Who was at the door?''  
''What?, Oh nobody important'' Connie spoke quietly into the phone,  
''Well, i was going to say, i would really like to come home for christmas, i know your busy with work and stuff but i miss my friends, and you. Things are really messed up over here and its almost like im invisible, it would be nice to be noticed for Christmas'' Connie could hear the dissapointment in her daughters voice, her heart broke in two.  
''I will have a word with your father and see what i can do'' Connie bit back the tears and the break in her voice.  
''Really?! Thankyou!'' Her daughter sounded happier, no wait, not happy, hopefull, never fill a childs heart with hope, its worse than filling it with happiness. Connie closed her eyes her brain kicking back into turmoil mode, her daughter however was rattling down a christmas list.  
''I have to go now darling, i will speak to your father within the next couple of days and get back to you''  
''Ok, loveyou'' The tears began to fall.  
''I love you to, have a good night'' Connie hung up the phone as she let out a sob. For a few seconds she totally forgot about the bloke sitting in her living room. She grabbed a tissue, wiped her eye's and made her way into the living room, only to find Jacob going through her files.  
She marched towards him and snapped them out of his hands,  
''You cannot go through my things, some of these files are private''  
''Don't worry i wont tell anyone''  
''No because you won't know about them'' Connie gathered all her paperwork and placed them on the coffee table, well out of reach from where Jacob was seated.  
''Who was on the phone?'' Connie turned and looked at him,  
''Yes, well, i will get to that in a minuite'' Connie looked around her, ''Do you want a drink?''  
''Yeah why not'' Connie moved over to a cabinet, grabbed two whisky glasses she poured them both a glass and moved to sit beside him, handing him his drink.  
''I need to...discuss something with you'' Connie took a sip of her drink, god knows she would need the courage.  
''Should i be worried'' Jacob looked at Connie, suddenly it became very hard to tell him about her daughter, despite the fact she may be coming home for christmas which was only a matter of weeks away.  
''No, no nothing to worry about'' Connie pondered in thought for a moment. ''What are you doing for christmas?''  
''Not sure yet, got no family round here so depends on what happens between now and then really, you''  
''No, nothing big planned'' Fuck. Connie took a gulp of her drink and moved to get the bottle. Jacob watched her.  
Connie suddenly felt seriously panicked, the guilt was heavy on her shoulders, how could she cover up her own daughter. She sat further away from him and poured herself a bigger glass, her hands where shaking.  
''Whoa'' Jacob moved over and took the bottle and glass from her hands ''What's up?''

Connie was terrible at lying and about her own daughter, it seemed almost impossible to put the two together. She took a deep breath, she had to come clean, it wasn't to late to tell the truth. She looked Jacob right in the eye, but seemed to loose all trail of thought and the ability to speak, what was she? Some love struck school girl?.. apprently so.  
Connie gripped Jacob's hand, which was still holding hers. She looked down at it, the security in the one small gesture made such a difference to the entire situation.  
Jacob lifted her chin with his other hand, planting a delicate kiss on her lips. Connie closed her eyes as he moved away a litte. His hand still on her chin. She opened them and found herself once again looking straight into his eyes, somehow it became impossible to do anything.  
''So, what do you need to tell me'' Connie was still focused on Jacobs eye's.  
''Doesn't matter'' Connie moved closer to him stopping any further conversation by kissing him back.

 **I will try and update more often. With christmas coming up and work being manic it is so hard to find the time to write! But hopefully things will settle down and will get more time to update. Going to pick this chapter up where i left off so may contain a strong M rating. May be worth a miss if your not into that kind of thing.**


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